I was loved by the woods…

If I told you I grew up poor, you might picture Charlie living in a shack and 4 people sleeping in one bed.

That was far from the case.

Nope, I grew up in the same shit box tiny 3 bedroom 1 bath ranch style home, as everyone else of the time

(that time being the late 70s’ into the 80s)

But my home life was unlike any one else’s I knew of, with the abuse and lack of needed things for me being my secret shame.

Mostly because my mother was/is a selfish person, a person that blamed me for her own short comings, a person who hid food and went out drinking instead of keeping her home and caring for her children.

I often found myself staying in the near by woods, comforted by the trees, laying in the earth.

I felt safe there. It felt more like home than in my own bed of fear just across the street in that house.

The sun loved me as it peeked through the trees and warmed my cheeks with its kisses.

The smell of pine needles was my perfume, the rustling of the leaves in the trees all around was my music.

Today as I take much pride in cleaning my own home with the windows wide open, the fresh new Fall air blowing through. I hear my children giggling down the hall, I am glad I am a better person than my mother. I am glad they are loved. That they have all the need and most of what they want. It takes a sacrifice to live like this. To give to them before myself. it is never easy.

I still carry anger for my mother, I hate that house.

But it does not take from my life as some people tell me to let it go, I do not want to forget or forgive.

I couldn’t forget even if I tried for the breeze brings back my days of my home in the woods, among the trees.

I can be having the worst day and a walk in the woods can make it all better. I feel safe there, untouchable.

So I say maybe its magic

Regards!

Finally Feels Like Summer

We hit the water to go paddling yesterday, and it finally felt like summer as sweat rolled down my back, and the sun stung my shoulders. Paddling Ole Redd on Cedar Creek.

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The water rolled fast, after all weve had a lot of rain, and it was the first time in a long time I found I really had to work to control the canoe. Never mind that my husband sits in the back relaxing and not working much at it at all, and the 5 year old leans over the side splashing the water.

Crowds of people were out enough where I swear we could have all linked up and reached from one end of Double Trouble Park to the other. I know its wrong but I wish no one to be out when we go, the inexperience of so many blocking up the turns, and making us have to fight back rushing into them as we approach, or the beer drinking good timers who think they own the place.

I just want to creep along slowly taking in the breeze, and the scent of Water Lilies so heavy in the air. I want to enjoy the sun and the lush greenery that’s so grow over the creek this time of year that in some places it falls like curtains.

I added a lil funny to Ole Redd since out last time…

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I guess if nothing else its funny to me, I do after all “get the joke”.

So love that at the end I ran in to an old friend as well, so funny to think she was just behind us the whole time paddling.

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Regards!

Im Talking Tuesdays

Pub Trivia Tuesday Nights at Doyle’s Pour House Barnegat NJ

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An “as often as possible” date night with my best friend. But with kids and husbands and work and life we really only get there once a month. Once a Pancake House, this place has become like home. We just fit, or at least I think we do.

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My Gawd we’re awful at this trivia thing, but oh the fun. We kill at 80’s music and movie clips, would rather just skip the sports and we don’t know why they call it “General Knowledge” because we generally don’t have the knowledge to answer the questions.

Dollar beers and food we regret eating the very next day… Our bartender Sean loves to hate us, where as the night wears on the louder we get, and often a drink is spilled.

A farewell evening with our good friend Amy, just over 2 years ago, we found everywhere “dead” but this place. An evening that started at TGI Fridays, Moved on to Callaway’s, and was headed for some dive out in Waretown.

Amy was moving you see, headed for a new start in Northern PA. An easier and better life than Jersey had to offer. A simple life. I envy her for this. And this was how it came about to find this bar, and to return over and over and to find Tuesday Trivia Night, with Mike.

Near 30 years, Sarah and I have known each other. I think we were merely 12 or 13 years old at the time. And even after time separated us. Facebook brought us back together a few year back, and we are still like 2 peas in a pod, or maybe more like room mates in the nut house.

No subject matter goes untouched. No filters, and I always wonder (the next day) what the people sitting around us must think when they hear us.

Oh we are a sight I’m sure. But I wouldn’t have it any other way! And when your having that much fun everyone and everything else melts away.

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So, here’s to our friendship. To the past we shared. To the future we’ll have. To the good times.

“May Smitty always get us a seat. May the beers always be a buck. May Sean always love us. May Mike always think “Not OJ” is funny. And may we always get home safe to laugh about it the next day.”

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Regards!

Ole Redd

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Ole Redd is my 40 plus year old, fiber glass and wood canoe. I proudly brought home nearly 10 years ago, from the last day of a moving sale I happened to come across by chance, or maybe it was fate.

I grew up on dirt roads, barefooted, swimming in creeks and lakes that are tucked in among the Jersey Pine Barrens. To poor for cable and wtf were video games? I hadn’t a clue (I don’t think we even had a tv till in was 8 or 9?), even in the late 70s and early 80’s, of course no ac, and well its just what you did when I was a kid. Other than the drive in, the woods and creeks were the summertime thing, you asked to go, you begged!

Im 39 (just this month), incase you were wondering lol

And Ole Redd here is one of my finest treasures.

Heavy as hell he is, sun faded and wearing a small patch,

he carries my littlest son, husband and I down Cedar Creek nearly every weekend. Even in the earliest months when winter chooses to take a day off and out of no where its sunny and 70 out in March!

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From time to time we have traveled other lakes and creeks, rivers and streams but Cedar Creek is “home” only minutes from our house we can jump in along the creek in various spots, and pull out in just as many different places, a trip can run 2 hours or 6 if we so choose.

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Out at the Lake (Lake Oswego Penn Sate Forest NJ)

is a second favorite place we haul Ole Redd with us.

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I wish everyday was a day I could go paddling.

People always tell us to get rid of the canoe for a Kayak but

Ill never be a Kayak Person, its like Apples and Oranges to me. The same but different.

And I’m set in my ways.

Rain or Shine we’ll hit the water. Its more than a hobby, its good for the soul.

The view, the smells, the sounds, renew me. They Inspire me.

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I just started to make a stainless steel Charm bangle set for myself (and a few for my etsy store).

I can not wait to add this to the bunch of bangles Ive made for myself,

so many I sound like wind chimes when wearing them all!

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Regards!