Love Me Hate Me

People tell me I have an amazing gift of intuition.

The gift to be able to see right through people and know just who they really are.

Without even meeting someone ( sometimes ) I can call them out. I’ve done this time and again, and never thought much of it. I have yet to be wrong.

Just chalked it up to knowing people, knowing how to read them.

I believe this is why people mostly either love me or hate me.

No in-between, because you’ll love me if your not living a lie. If you have nothing to hide.

But you will mostly hate me if you’re hiding something. As I don’t fold into peoples bullshit, I cant play along. I call it like I see it. And these people call me an asshole, they hate for the lie to be exposed, and even though they themselves know its a lie they live it and no one wants the wind to knock down the house of cards they spent so much time building.

The script of their lies I have choose not to play apart of:

My Brother in-law likes to play: The perfect husband and father, but really hes just a lazy fuck, that has never parented a day in his life. If your kids play you and laugh at you and your wife wont sleep with you, come on?!

My brothers wife likes to play: The role of the fairy tale romance and marriage, but really she trapped my brother into marrying her, and they fight all the time. I mean I say they’ll end up divorced for a reason, several in fact! You cant move your husband in with your mother and think a marriage will work?!

My Mother likes to play: The role of the poor sad hard life, abused and unwanted, when really she is an abuser, liar and awful mother and wife. Far to lazy to make the change she cries to people she wants yet life has offered her 100 times over. You dug your own hole now work to get out of it or stay there and die!

They don’t know anything about me yet don’t like me because I choose to call them out.

Now don’t get me wrong I keep my mouth shut most of the time. Which I bet my closest friends don’t even realize since I am so open with my thoughts, but really I do try and censor myself. I don’t set out to hurt anyone, to be “mean”.

How do you sit around and watch this everyday, to play along? I cant do it. I just cant! Why is it so wrong to just own it. To just throw your hands up and admit it and move on. And why do so many others just sit back and play along with them.

The people who don’t like me, never say anything to my face. They just weakly “talk shit” behind my back, funny thing is I can read them, I can hear it without actually hearing it.

 I think this is because there’s nothing that can be said to hurt me. I am who I am,  I own it. I am perfectly imperfect. And I’m okay with that.

One of my favorite sayings is…

once-youve-accepted-your-flaws-no-one-can-unknown

So here’s to the haters…

Keep on hating, I don’t care.

Regards!

Home Sweet Home

There is a bird nesting in my Fuchsia.

And why wouldn’t this bird want to nest here? This is a beautiful full plant, a Mothers Day Gift from my kids, hung lovingly on my front porch. Guarded from the wind and rain, hung up high, only morning sun, this is prime real-estate for a little bird!

I provide food and bath just below in my flower beds.

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But even with all this…

this bird flies just off to a near by tree and gives me shit, loudly.

All because I’ve come out to water this plant. I must water it! It wont be the home sweet home for this bird if it dies. All that lush growth will be gone, the nest will dry up and blow away.

And I like a loon, stand there saying apologies and explaining myself to this bird as I water, this and my 2 other plants on my porch around my table and chairs.

It has become increasingly difficult to water this plant as the nest seems to be growing in size, and the water I pour oh so slowly and carefully into this hanging planter doesn’t seem to be able to get through much anymore.

I find myself wondering what shall I do if babies come, I cant water this plant than! They could get wet and cold, and mama will fly off and yell at me, and sadly the plant will die. And so their home will not be as it is now.

This is the craziness that goes on in my mind. I find this stresses me more than not being able to pay my electric bill.

Randomness? I suppose it is. My life? Oh yes.

I haven’t a clue what kind of bird this is, its much to small and fast, a blur of brown is all I’ve seen.

But I find joy in this. And I’m happy this bird had chosen to live on my porch.

maybe we’ll be friends one day.

Today Ill but out blueberries.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/228504223/bird-tree-of-life-charm-bracelet?ref=shop_home_active_1

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https://www.facebook.com/jerseygypsypeddler

Regards!