A real housewife in New Jersey

all-work-and-no-pay-325x325

I hate the term housewife. I hate it even more so since these beyond ridiculous shows about women acting like high school children have come out.

 I am so much more than a “housewife”. I am keeper of all things. Money to lost shoes. I am plumber and IT specialist. I am mom and maid. Taxi driver and Escort. If you can think up anything a women could possibly be, yeah I am or have played that role at one point or another.

But you’re never going to find camera following me or me basking in 15 minutes of fame at any point, because the truth is a “Real Housewife”, well her life sucks, its not anything anyone would want to watch. I mean really, would you want to see me blogging in my spare time, washing laundry and cursing at my 6 year old after he just poured every bottle of everything he could find in my master bathroom down the drain?

Or maybe you want to see me trying (“Trying”) to run my online Etsy shop, and carve out something for myself and my future.

Even my marriage. Purely perfect compared to the dysfunction of what is on TV. We don’t even fight about the money we don’t have. 17 years and not one fight.

To be honest. I think the only thing TV worthy in my life would be me tripping on the treadmill. And though funny as it is, and it is funny. This too is maybe only worth 2 minutes of TV fame.

Funny-Memes-Hushchild-proofedstickers_funny_happy_housewife_scream-r589c4473bfd744c7a493ddd9aa38e536_v9waf_8byvr_324

So there is it, the quick and simple of Me. A Housewife in New Jersey.

Living just another day in paradise.

ps: Is spring break over yet? can my kids go back to school!!??

Regards!

Advertisements

A Trip NOT A Vacation

I don’t think people really understand the difference between a “trip” and a “vacation”.

A vacation would be where I sleep in everyday. Have good, no great food, poolside, while working on my tan for seven days straight.

A “trip”, which is what going to Disney World is, is more like a marathon.

I just got back from my third week long “trip” to Orlando. I never once slept past 6am, even on the nights when we got back from the park after midnight and wasn’t in bed till 2am. I need a vacation to recover from my “trip”!

This was however the first time I felt at home there. I knew where everything was, what I was in for, where to go and what to see, without having to check a map.

Our condo, at our resort, is on Disney property. It is only 15 minutes from EVERYTHING! Every park even Sea World and Universal, from the airport and all the Disney parks and Shopping, 1 block from any food store, or eatery, and the tons of discount Disney crap stores, you now the faux stuff. Even when traffic is bad and come 7-8am it gets bad.

The week went like this:

Arrival in Orlando from Atlantic City NJ 10:30pm, bags, rental car, condo check in, Walmart food shopping (ugh yes it was the only thing open at this by now 1am), than back to the condo in bed 2:30am

Day 1 Sunday: Magic Kingdom (do not go to this park on weekends!)

Day 2 Monday: Epcot (wine and food fest, oh the drunks were many)

Day 3 Tuesday: Animal Kingdom (An easy park that can be conquered in one day) Gave in and bought a stroller for my son, nearly 6, he couldn’t take the walking anymore.

Day 4 Wednesday: We call this our “day off” but it really isn’t much of that. Downtown Disney (now Disney Springs) Shopping so much to see, lunch, pool, dinner, bed.

Day 5 Thursday: Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure, but really we only did Seuss Landing and all the Harry Potter we could. (ps: Im dying to go back without my kids, and totally fan-girl all the Harry Potter, and dress up, ride everything, eat, take tons of pics and live the fantasy there ASAP!)

Day 6 Friday: MGM, now Hollywood Studios. Oh The Tower of Terror! and Pixar, pretty much all we did! But this is a great park, one of the smaller parks, if planned out right, you can do this park in a day as well.

Day 7 Saturday: Checking out early am, late Flight home so back to Magic Kingdom (again don’t do this park on a weekend!)

tried to get a few things we hadn’t or couldn’t do on day one, left 5 hours earlier than needed, we were just too beat! So off to 5 hours at the airport., Home by 10:30pm well really home at 11:30pm after the hour drive from the airport.

My feet hurt and swelled everyday.

I was beyond tired everyday.

The food, well its not bad, but its not good either everyday.

The cost, OMG the cost of everything, everyday.

And still Im dying to go back! Two years till our time share rolls around again seems like a life time. But it takes that long to save to go, and costs only go up. Still I want badly to scoop up my daughter and/or husband who couldn’t go this trip, and go to Harry Potter world for a weekend before that.

I will leave you with some advice, if you’ve never gone before and plan to.

Set the bar low, hell don’t even set it, leave it on the ground. You cant do or see it all, you’ll end up upset, missing things, and frustrated. Large groups make the trip harder. Though the parks are so very accommodating to larger groups, everyone wants to do something different and you end up wasting time trying to figure out what to do, and where to meet. You are going to stand on line half your day. So get fast pass for the 3 things you can (there’s and app for that before you even go!) Pick the things you most want to do or see and do it, everything else well you’ll have to go back, trust me, I’ve been to Magic Kingdom 5 times and have yet to see and do it all.

DSC_0195

Regards!

Hello Septemeber!

Yes I know it is still over a week away, but my minds already there.

From the joy of sending my kids back to school, to opening up a new shop on Handmade at Amazon,

to the annual dinner party I host for a few close friends, to Autumn falling once again.

September is truly a wonderful month. The days are still warm and the nights cool yet not cold.

A month my utility bill plunges to near nothing. A time to set a new routine.

It for me will be both overwhelming and restful.

free-printable-september-fall-autumn-art-print

https://www.facebook.com/jerseygypsypeddler

Regards!

They’re All My Favorite

I guess if asked to pick just one,  I would have to say fall is my favorite. But really I love them all, each for their own reason.

Summer

I love summer for the sun, for the outdoor activities,

canoeing, hiking, biking, fishing, camping.

I love bbq’s and smores around a fire pit in the evening. I love the long days.

Fall

How can you not love fall!?

The days are still warm and the light fades slowly in to the twilight. You can still do everything from summer, but the air is less thick. The kids are off to school all day, and things get done.

Acorns and leaves start to change into fiery colors and soon fall to the ground and crunch under foot.

Sweaters and soft socks come out and work their way back into your life with your favorite worn out jeans but you still need no jacket. The only slow season as it begins so warm and slowly gives way to the cold of winter. Its the only season that gives you time to prepare for the next.

It holds Halloween, and pumpkins and corn mazes and I begin to cook all day stews and such.

Winter

Comes in like a bull the wind whips up, an the bitter cold will take your breathe away.

But that’s ok as Christmas is coming and the tree and beautiful décor all goes up and the music and warmth of these things make you want to stay inside by the fireplace.

Oh I do hate the cold, and the length of this season, it seems to never want to let go of its hold. The short days are sad and cabin fever always takes hold of me.

Spring

Oh Spring you should be as great as fall!

But you never are, maybe a good day here and there but mostly cold, wet and windy, and than out of now where the heat of summer. Spring is by far the weakest season. It seems to allow winter to still stay and break away for the heat and humidity of summer.

2009-02-20-the-four-seasons-of-traffic

Today I have Fall on my mind.

I lit a Pumpkin Crunch Cake Candle and the smells of vanilla and caramel and pumpkin fill my home.

Its so full of these scents Im hungry from it!

https://www.facebook.com/jerseygypsypeddler

Regards!

Im Not Kidding

It took all I had not to choke the life out of this kid while smacking the shit out of her at the same time.

This 17 year old girl, picking a fight and attempting to hurt my 5 year old son.

(And she would have hurt him if no one was looking , than lied to cover her ass.)

Fighting over a chair. Not taking the high road any properly raised teenager would have taken and moved to any of the several other empty seats. Nope she choose to force her weight on him, shove her elbow into him and try to hurt him. She told me to “Fuck Off” as I told them both to stop. Me being the only adult in the room watching to say anything.

Ahhh… the weekly Sunday dinner at my Mother In-Laws house.

How I came to marry into such a passive group of people is beyond me!

My niece, the self entitled, self righteous lil Bitch.

She didn’t start out this way. Nearly killed by her birth mother along with her sister and than ultimately a 3rd sister adopted into this family. She was quiet and reserved. A beautiful girl.

Now, she and her 2 sisters have become part of a generation of get me/give me kids. Princess Syndrome. Never having been disciplined, or taught right from wrong. Never once ever having been told “No“.

They don’t ask, they tell. They think nothing of telling anyone to “Fuck Off“. Like that’s the answer to all of life, to getting your way. I must have missed the memo of this.

 But as children of course they’d think this. To say this to an adult challenging you, more offend by the fact that someone actually told them “No”, than by the fact that they are acting childish, and behaving badly.

Oh how I smile at the thought of “Life” steam rolling them. How sad they will be when they find out life is about being told no, and than sucking it up and moving on. The “You want fries with that?” and “My welfare check doesn’t cover all the clothes I want.”  These phares they will surley have to say through-out their lives.

Raised by Parents Pre-Diem. Always at the over whelmed and drained sitters house.

This is what you get…

They are all in the running to become Miss Future Asshole of America.

 Now of course she and well most of this family have come to dis-like me. I say it how it is. I speak my mind. I will talk to your children the same damn way I talk to mine. If your not going to parent them someone should!

And 17 is still a child. Clearly, picking a fight with a 5 year old is childish. And only someone so self absorbed as to take a car from their birth parent who nearly killed them as a toddler would do this. My birth mother nearly killed me, and I wont even take an apology from this women. But than again I don’t have my head up my own ass.

Now I bet you wonder if this makes going to Sunday dinner uncomfortable for me?

Nope not in the least as I have over the last 16 years laid into 1 or more of these kids, for 1 or more offences when an adult has needed to step in and do or say something and no one else did. And I don’t go for them. I go for my Mother and Father In-Law. I love them. These are good, no scratch that, these are amazing people.

And we wont be joining for Sunday dinner for at least the next 2 Sundays, as its that time of year where we have plans of our own. And with my husband working Saturdays now, Sunday is our only family day. By the time we go back everyone will have settled into pretending that they sat and did nothing as this adult child picked on a toddler. The key word here “pretend”, as they talk shit behind my back, never daring to confront me to my face, spineless really, but also pointless as I know I did nothing wrong telling that girl to “stop” and nothing more, and her telling me to “Fuck Off”.

Ill close with this.

I don’t forgive. I don’t forget.

This kind of thing sticks to my core. 20 years from now this will still piss me off.

But I wont lose any sleep over it.

https://www.facebook.com/jerseygypsypeddler

Regards!